In my line of work as a divorce recovery counselor, Ephesians 5:22-33, and its companion verses in 1 Peter 3:1-7, frequently create quite a stir.

By way of summary refresher, Ephesians 5:22-23 reads, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church...."

Don't want to forget verses 25 and 28-29 right on the heals of this.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her....," and "In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it...."

The path to hell here is salted with pithy dialogue such as the following.

Forget both extremes.

From my view of relationships, these are partnership passages. Rights and obligations. Fundamentally, they lay out what must be done and why — and, when read in the total context of Scripture (as opposed to self-serving, sinfully), safeguards against abuse abound.

If you look at these passages not as opportunities for control, but, rather, as helpful reminders that with the benefits of relationship also come the need for you to consistently contribute, how does that affect your point of view?

More importantly, do you see how it can effectively serve, lovingly, to bring the two of you closer together? In other words, obey one another, each leading according to his or her God-given gifts. And in all matters, love one another in an effort to emulate the model of the love Jesus Christ shows for you, always.

Alternatively, the consequences of distancing yourselves from one another are unfortunately quite predictable.